one day we’ll tell her about the way light
through the bedroom window
danced
across
her cheek
how it looked
a little
like Hope
but first
how the four concrete walls of this house felt like a cell
a place we didn’t want to be
in a country we didn’t want to live
how we unpacked our suitcases
reluctantly
and made room
for an ever-present, never-leaving, uninvited guest
named Waiting
how it was only a house
a place we slept and ate and buried our dreams
how we memorized the creaks in the floors and cracks in the ceilings
how we dug our nails
deep
into
leaving
how we bled
desperately ignoring
Waiting
and then
we will tell her how we brought fresh life
through the doors of that house
not at all like we imagined
how a baby caused us to relax our grip
and to make room for Hope
caused us to lean forward
with every fiber of our being
caused us to speculate
who she’ll be
where we’ll be
now, a mystery
how we brushed off dormant dreams
and replaced them with flowers
dug deep into the dirt
with picture frames
and books
and tiny toys
all the while still looking ahead
how we stepped over the creaks
as she napped
took notice of the sunrise on one side and the sunset on the other
of the kitchen
balcony
and mountains
welcomed it
accepted it
how we saw the speckled light
bouncing off the mirror
creating a rainbow swirling across the cheek
of our chubby
ray
of
Hope
how light caused us to breathe
to Surrender
to make a home here
Hope here
while we
wait
here
This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale—an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in this series “280 Words”.
Sarah Bahiraei 
Oh Sarah, this is beautiful!
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Thank you! ❤
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This is beautiful.
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Thanks for reading, Stacy!
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So beautiful Sarah! You’re homecoming is on Its way, I can feel it in my bones❤️
Sent from my iPad
>
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What an encouraging comment to read! Thanks so much ❤
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This is so, so good.
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This is so beautiful Sarah. You have talent and we are blessed you share with us. It always leaves me with Hope………..Prayers continue and I continue to HOPE for you. God has a plan……..
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Hi Sarah,
Thanks for writing this beautiful expression of both struggle and joy.
Kai and I are reading Silas Marner out loud. We recently read a chapter that made me think of you and Afshin both. The correlations are not literal. He is a miser who was hurt by the church in the past. He works hard and hoards gold for the first half of the book. Eppie turns up on his doorstep as a baby and changes his life. Iâve attached a few excerpts.
Chris
From: Sarah Bahiraei Reply-To: Sarah Bahiraei Date: Friday, February 19, 2021 at 4:00 PM To: Chris McQueen Subject: [New post] The House Surrender Built
Sarah posted: “one day we’ll tell her about the way the lightthrough the bedroom windowdancedacrossher cheek how it lookeda littlelike Hope but first how the four concrete walls of this house felt like a cella place we didnât want bein a country we didnât want to live h”
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